What They Haven't Said Yet
Leadership Practice · Active Listening
This one develops active listening by putting you in a short conversation with someone who works for you. They come to your door with something small and easily settled, and underneath it is a second thing — the real reason they came, which they will not lead with. Nothing to prepare: after a quick sound check you're straight into it. Whether the second thing ever gets said is decided in the next two minutes.
In this scenario you'll step into a two-minute conversation with someone on your team who has brought you something small, and respond out loud.
You'll practice:
- letting someone finish before you start solving
- building your next question out of the words they just used
- saying back what you understood, then asking what you missed
The skillActive Listening
Active listening is staying with what the other person actually said: letting them finish, building your next question out of their words, and checking what you understood rather than assuming. It is not patience, and not nodding while you wait for your turn. Whether it worked is decided by them, not by how attentive you felt — they say more than they came in meaning to.
The whole conversation takes ninety seconds: they asked for something small, you gave them a straight answer, they thanked you and left. It doesn't feel like a miss — it feels efficient. Then it comes back a month later as a resignation, or as a problem that was cheap to fix while they were standing in your doorway.
Someone on your team asks for two minutes about something small — a swap, a form, a bit of admin — and there is a second thing underneath it that they will not lead with. They say it only after you ask a real question about something they actually said, and then they stay and talk about it. Answering the request, 'how are things generally?', 'don't worry about it', and 'so what I'm hearing is…' followed by more talking each earn a warm thank-you and a departure. The person, and the second thing, are different every run.
The situation
Someone on your team asks for a couple of minutes, and what they bring is small — a scheduling swap, a bit of admin. It has an obvious answer. Underneath it is the actual reason they came, and they have not said it.
The pull will be to settle it quickly. Not yet. Let them get to the end, ask about something they actually said rather than the logistics, then say it back and check — is that right, what am I missing — before they walk out with it.
How it opens
Someone who works for you, in your doorwayHave you got two minutes? It's a small thing — sorry, I know you're busy.
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